Thursday was BUSY

So, Thursday was a super busy day. We went to visit our audiologist to get Lilli's ear molds done for her hearing aids! YEY They should be here in the next week or so. I cannot wait, although I know seeing her in them will be bitter sweet. Getting the molds done was not so much fun for her. They use stuff similar to the stuff the dentist uses to make teeth impressions. They put a little thing down in her ear canal so it doesnt get the mold stuff in them and then put the mold in. Lillian was not happy. I had to hold her arms, Dr. Bochinno had to help because she was very squirmy and just trying to get it out. Poor baby girl! The ride home was awful too because it was pouring down rain and traffic on 85 was going about 5mph and I had a screaming baby in the back seat! Once we got home I had to rush in and finish straighting the house up because her therpist and state audiology consultant were comming for a meeting with our whole family. My mom and dad, and mother and father in law were there. This meeting was more for the family so that everyone could ask any questions they had. My mother in law is still in shock over the situation and I am very glad she came because I know she had a ton of questions and I think it really helped her see that even though this may not be what any of us had originally wanted everything is going to be ok. I was very surprised that my usually reserved and quite dad and father in law had more questions then I ever expected. We truly couldnt ask for a better family support system! The meeting lasted for quite a while almost 2 hours. I am very greatful for Kristen and Lizzie for coming and staying longer then expected to ensure everyone got the answers they were looking for. After the meeting we all went out to dinner! It was so much fun! I love spending time with our whole family! We couldnt be more blessed to have such a fantastic family and a perfect sweet baby girl!!

I cried a little bit tonight

Today we celebrated Tony's grandmother's 80th birthday. She is a wonderful woman and she and Lillian have a very special relationship! :) If you arent very familiar with my in-laws, the sing, all the time, they love to sing and sound VERY good doing it :) Of course since it was granny's birthday party they took the time to sing some of her favorite hymns. They sounded beautiful. I realized sitting in the back of the room that the family up front had caught Lilli's attention. I decided to move her closer to the sound (which is what our therapists enocourage) When we got up to the front of the room, the family was in full swing singing sweet music to bless our wonderful Lord. Lilli was amazed. She was shaking! I think she was a little scared because she had never really been that close to them singing that loudly before, plus Aunt Joy rocking it out on the piano added to the decebels in the room. Although shaking and unsure of what was going on, she loved it and laughed at the same time. I cant explain the feeling that came over me. Part joy, honestly a tiny bit of sadness, not for little Lilli but for the other children. They are all such WONDERFUL children. I could not ask for a better family! Chidlren really are a blessing and it is obvious our entire family thinks so. I love them all. But while the family was singing the other kids were running around playing tag, which is expected given that most of them are boys. But I was just so shocked that they didnt really stop to listen to the joyful noise being sung. They are so used to it and honestly 4 months ago, while I enjoyed listening to our family chior I feel like I took advantage of it. Tonight I stopped to embrace that I CAN hear the wonderful harmonies and seeing Lilli truly hear something so well just overwhelmed me with joy! I am so blessed to be in such a wonderful family with so many cousins for her to grow up with. In my head I feel like she will always stop to cherish the times that they stop and sing, but in reality I know that in a few years she too will be running around playing tag in the fellowship hall :) Anyways, I cried a little bit tonight and took a moment to pray over my sweet baby and thank God for all he has blessed me with :)

Overwhelmed

Today Lilli had DHOH therapy. She was asleep for most of it which gave Kristen and I a chance to go over some resources and other information. I dont know why it hit me so hard today. I have accepted Lilli's condition and am totally OK with it. First of all there is just something about the word "deaf" that I just cannot stand. My child isnt deaf, she can hear, she is just hearing impaired, yet almost every pamplet emphasized the word deaf. Kristen is very aware of our feelings torwards that word and doesnt use it with us which I love! :) She is a very caring person and I feel she goes out of her way to satisfy us as a family. The information she gave us (was a lot!) but so far what I have seen is very helpful. But today I just had to stop and breath for a minute, remind myeslf that there is a purpose in all of this and no matter what Lillian is still perfect. Going over all the information I was hoping she would wake up so I had an excuse to get up and pick her up and hold her! I didnt want to wake her up from her rare nap. Luckily she did wake up and I got to hold her and smooch on her! She is my world and I want to do EVERYTHING in the world for her which is why I am very greatful for all of the agencies we are working with, but I just had to get it out of my system that today was a kind of hard day. When Kristen left my sweet husband watched Lilli so I could take a nap before he left for work. I am such a lucky woman to have such a wonderful family! :) I couldnt ask for more! Now excuse me, I have to sign off, my sweet girl is waking up again LOL